Tag Archives: Personal

Strength in Numbers

February 11, 2013 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

strongerLike many other Americans, I watched the Grammy’s last night. Since the early American Idol days, I’ve been a fan of Kelly Clarkson’s music. And last night her album “Stronger” won the grammy for Best Pop Vocal Album. The album, and single by the same name, were also nominated for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Pop Solo Performance. The song has become an anthem of sorts for those going through difficult times, especially in the area of relationships, who believe that what doesn’t kill them will indeed make them stronger. And Kelly Clarkson is not the first to sing about finding strength through trying times. Kanye West had a song with the same theme. The saying has also been quoted in the movies Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Steel Magnolias (1989). The philosophy that we are strengthened by the situations we endure and survive originated from German philosopher and poet Friedrich Nietzsche in 1888 and it is a philosophy that many live by.

There is certainly some truth to the concept and there are many who have gone through major crisis situations in their lives that forever changed them for the better. They walked away with a resolve to use their circumstance to reinforce and strengthen their determination that nothing can or will destroy them. Based on the number of life difficulties some of my friends have been through, they should be nearly invincible at this point according to Nietzsche.

stronger 5Yet I have come to understand that while that may be true for some, it is most certainly not the case for all. I have encountered those who have lived through extremely challenging situations and the ensuing result is far from strength. What didn’t kill them made them hardened toward life and toward other people. It wore them down to the point that they found themselves no longer fighting their situations, but accepting them as the hand that they’ve been dealt. In some cases, what didn’t kill them has left them broken and mistrusting of others. It has made them bitter and closed off to the love and acceptance offered to them by those who attempt to reach out. What didn’t kill them has worn them down to the point that they are simply enduring life instead of living it. It has left them hopeless, weakened and lacking the will to fight through their circumstances. What didn’t kill them has nearly destroyed them.

I believe there is danger in looking to life’s difficulties for strength. When we do so, we come to rely on ourselves to get us through the hard times. And while there are those who seemingly are the exception, the majority of us need something so much more than our hardships to find strength. After a series of hard times early in my own life, I found myself beaten down and defeated. I was angry and resentful that I didn’t have it as “easy” as everyone else seemed to. My marriage was added to a list of personal failures and I was left feeling weak and hopeless. It was during that low point that I turned to God, who had been waiting for me all along. I sought God at my weakest point and in that moment I surrended control of my circumstances to Him. And when I turned the fight over to God when I no longer had any fight left in me, my life was forever changed. For me, my strength was never found in that which did not kill me. My strength was found in Christ.

stronger 2I found that when life gets hard and I feel beaten down, I find such hope in knowing I no longer must rely on my own strength to fight the battle. The battle belongs to my Lord who is my strength and my shield (Psalm 28:7). I trust in Him to be my strength and the bible promises that “those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31). What didn’t kill me taught me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13) – not through the challenges I face, but through Christ. In 2Cor. 12:8 Paul asked God to take away a hardship he faced and God told him “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

In recognizing his source of strength, Paul concluded: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2Cor.12:10).

stronger 6It’s no easy feat to “delight” in our weaknesses, hardships and difficulties. But when we find our strength in Christ and not in how well we endure what life throws our way, there comes a point when we realize that finding delight through the tough times by relying on Him is a whole lot easier than relying on our own strength. We were never meant to fight alone. We were never meant to struggle through life in attempt to barely crawl across the finish line when our life is over. We were meant to soar on the wings like eagles!

What have you been through that hasn’t killed you but has made you battle weary and broken? Are you ready to surrender the fight to God and lean on Him to give you the strength to carry on? In battles of war, surrender is a sign of weakness. But in the battle of life, surrender is strength. Isn’t it time you wave the white flag?

Executing the Play

February 4, 2013 By in Current Events Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

superbowl 10SuperBowl 47 will be remembered for many things – a 30 minute power outage delay, the Harbaugh brothers coaching against each other, an epic comeback attempt by the 49er’s, and a couple of SuperBowl records for longest kickoff return for a touchdown and longest singing of the National Anthem. And today the internet is filled with opinions of how the Ravens were able to hold on to the win and with reasons the 49er’s were unable to finish the comeback on top. But the bottom line is both teams were well coached, had a well thought out gameplan, both came fully prepared to play and both faced the same adversity during the power outage. In most every game, the team who’s players execute the plays and trust in the coaches to know the best play to call in any given situation, end up with the victory. Yesterday it was the Ravens who simply executed the plays relayed to them onfield from the coaching staff better and more consistently than the 49er’s.

superbowl 3God knows and can see the big picture for our life. He is our coach who is there to direct us into His perfect will for our lives. He wants us to experience victory over sin and the things like unforgiveness, bitterness and anger that keep us from experiencing all He has planned for us. He gives us instruction or “sends in a play” to us from the sideline either through His word or through the wisdom and advice of others. He calls in to us the right “play” at the right time so that we may successfully move forward and grow in our faith. We get in trouble when we look at the situation on the field and decide that we know best which play to run so we change the play last minute at the line of scrimmage. Whether He instructs us to make a move in a new direction or to stay put where we are and trust in His timing, it’s our job to execute according to the His play call, not our own. When we fail to follow His lead we find ourselves stuck in circumstances without hope for a way out. Thank God He has an endless playbook and even when we fail, He continues to give us opportunities to follow His gameplan.

I remember a time in my life when I had prayed to be able to quit my job so I could be a stay-at-home mom. I waited on God and followed the path I felt He was leading me on. That path included staying put in my job for 2 more years after I began praying to be home. But when God opened the door for me to quit my job and stay at home, my lack of faith in the moment caused me to change the play He had called, to one according to how I thought things should go. I quit my job but instead of becoming a stay-at-home mom full-time, I decided I should work part-time so that I could continue to bring in income for our family. I didn’t trust God to be our provider and to meet our needs.

superbowl 5Within a month of working as a bank teller part-time, my cash drawer came up over $1000 short. I was given 3 days at home without pay while they investigated to determine where the missing money was. It was in those 3 days that God clearly showed me that He never told me to go to work part-time. He had fully opened the door for me to stay at home, which was my heart’s desire. He was trying to give me what I had asked for but I lacked the faith to receive it. I changed the play based on our financial circumstances I saw with my own eyes instead of trusting Him enough to execute the play as He had called it. I repented and knew when the 3 days were up the bank would call to tell me I was fired for not doing my job and causing my cash drawer to be short. And then I could start being at home full-time which I knew then was God’s plan for me.

To my suprise they called after 3 days and although they had been unable to account for the money, they offered for me to return to work because they believed it was an honest mistake and the money would turn up upon further investigation. God didn’t just shut the door on my mistake, He gave me the opportunity to run the play again and this time to execute it according to His plan. I returned to work and gave my notice thanking the bank for their confidence in me and explaining that I had decided to completely trust in God to provide for our family so that I could be at home with my children full-time.

superbowl 7If you are going through a difficult time, you are faced with a hopeless situation or you have prayed for a change in your circumstances – look to God for direction. And when He calls in a play through His word, through the counsel of other believers or through a gentle whisper to your heart, execute the play exactly as it was called no matter how things appear. Remember, He sees the big picture that we cannot and it’s in the times we choose to trust in Him and the play He’s called for our lives, that He reveals enough of that picture to give us hope to keep going and to grow our faith in Him alone. Stick to God’s gameplan and in His timing you’re guaranteed to receive the victory you seek.

Is It Live or Is It Memorex?

January 30, 2013 By in Current Events Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

memorexWith all the recent media attention given to Beyonce’s singing (or not) of the National Anthem at the Presidential Inaugaration I thought it may be a good time to share some thoughts on authenticity. There was a commercial from the early 1970’s – yes I’m dating myself but let’s suffice it to say I was very young and barely remember the commerical 🙂 The commerical was for Memorex tapes which were used for recording purposes. They featured Ella Fitzgerald  singing a note that shattered a glass while being recorded to a Memorex audiotape. The tape was then played back and the recording also broke the glass as the announcer voice asked “Is it live, or is it Memorex?” The point was that the recording was so close to the real thing that you couldn’t tell the difference between the two. People have always been fascinated with the real versus fake stories in which something we thought to be real was revealed a fake – think “Lance Armstrong doping scandal”, “Manti Te’o fake girlfriend”, “runaway bride from Georgia”, and the heartbreaking story of Susan Smith of South Carolina. These stories make for headlines that we just can’t seem to get enough of.

memorex 2I think the fascination comes from our instinctive desire for authenticity. We want people to be real and we want to believe them when they appeal to our emotions in an effort to make us buy into their story. We want a happy ending for them, we cheer on the apparent victim and our hearts ache for those in seemingly impossible situations who display incredible strength and hope. We want desperately for their story to have a positive outcome. And then there’s the letdown – the moment we turn on the news and confirm our doubts and suspicions that it was all a big fake. Dozens of these stories over the years have created a cynicism among us that causes us to question every story and every person as we wonder “are they for real?” Whether a person’s behavior is good or bad, we just want them to be real and authentic. That’s why many celebrities with less than stellar reputations have such a following of supporters. They may behave horribly but in people’s minds “at least they’re being who they really are and not pretending to be something they’re not.”

memorex 4We long for authenticy because it’s part of our design. We were created to seek what is real and what is true. In a perfect world that longing would lead us to Jesus. But for many of us we are drawn to what seems real only to find ourselves fooled by imposters. The enemy of our souls is a master deceiver and he uses his abilities to draw us into believing in something or someone other than Christ. Many times the fakes are packaged so well it’s nearly impossible to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not.

Because we instinctively seek that which is authentic, we can be incredibly scarred when we believe something to be real only to find out it never was. People who are seemingly real wield great power to influence those desperately seeking something or someone who is genuine. Sometimes that is used to bring great harm to those who believe the lie. Jim Jones and David Koresh are just two of many such individuals who took advantage of people who were seeking the truth only to later to be revealed as masters of deception.

The impact that such deception, whether intentional or simply by the succeptibility to failure of the human nature, ranges from mild letdown to devastating hurt. Many have put their trust and faith in a person, a job, an organization, a church or an ideology only to be forever damaged by broken trust and crushed faith when they found that what they believed to have been true and real was not.

memorex 5There is only One in whom we can securely put our trust and faith in. And with great confidence we can believe everything He says to be true because He has never failed, never been anything other than who He says He is. His love for us displayed in the sacrifice of His son, Jesus, is proof that His love is real. For those willing to say they believe, He reveals Himself fully as the Truth. But many find it hard to believe and hard to trust because their previous misplaced trust and faith has brought them great pain in the past. So they respond with disbelief and doubt.

For those of us who call ourselves Christians, we are charged with sharing His truth with those who doubt. And if we are to be successful in influencing them to share in what we already know to be real, we must first be authentic ourselves. People must see Christ through us so that we are not setting them up for letdown. If we are solely depending on our own abilities to influence others we are risking failure and loss of trust. But when they see Christ in us, we cannot fail because He never fails to be anything but authentic.

memorex 6The way we do this is by spending time with God through prayer, reading His Word, and spending time with other believers who seek the same. In doing so we are molded more and more into God’s image and that becomes what is reflected to others when they encounter us in the workplace, in school, in our neighborhoods or in the community. And we must always guard our hearts against the deception and temptation of the enemy. There are many people in the world today seeking something real and we have the opportunity to show them God by being authentic ourselves. We must take our responsibility seriously and refrain from actions and behaviors that would compromise that opportunity for influence.

As humans we were made to seek that which is truth. If you are a believer, make sure you do everything you can to ensure that when they meet you they’ll see the authenticy of Christ in you. Unlike Memorex, being a real good copy will never have the same impact as being 100% real. Make sure when someone asks “are they for real?” the answer is a resounding yes!

Back in the Saddle After Falling Off the Wagon

January 12, 2013 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

new years2It’s that time again – time for New Year’s Resolutions. Time to get back in gear and do all those things we know we should be doing but don’t. Even if we do fairly well on a regular basis, there is something about the holidays that seems to make it easier to fall off the wagon.

Personally I didn’t just fall off the wagon – I took a flying leap! I ate way too many of those little Christmas Hershey kisses that I kept buying to fill the empty Santa candy dish. Exercise wasn’t an afterthought – I just didnt’ think about it at all and my drink of choice was Dr. Pepper without even a glance toward a glass of water. Oh, and did someone say blog? What blog?

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in my backslide but now that the holiday season is over it’s time to get back in the saddle. Time to get back on track. But sometimes that’s easier said than done.

It’s certainly one thing to get back to eating right, exercising or drinking more water. But what about getting back to making Godly choices after a “season” of sin? That is not always so easy. There are those of us who believe that if we perform a certain way (read our bible, pray, go to church, attend a small group) then God will approve of and love us.

But if we make a mistake, a wrong choice and commit a sin – and I’m talking about a grievous sin like adultery, giving into an addiction, alcohol or drug use or continuing to choose to live an immoral life – these are not so easy to just turn away from and get back on track.  We all have a very real enemy of our souls who lives to see us fail. His desire is to tempt us into wrong choices and then provide a constant reminder of those choices in order that we may be consumed with guilt and condemnation.

It’s in those moments when we’ve fallen off the “Christian” wagon that we begin to believe the lie that we cannot get back on. That God will not accept us back because we’ve done something so bad that He will forever disapprove of us.

crazy cycle5So we continue in what I call the crazy cycle – the perpetual cycle of sin that keeps us isolated from God. We keep thinking that we’ve fallen too far, we can’t go back to the way things were, everybody will know if we walk in church, there’s no way God will forgive us. But that way of thinking is exactly what keeps people from the peace and joy that God intended for them. We are our own worst enemy aside from the devil. We make things so easy for him every time we believe those lies – and that’s exactly what they are – lies.

We keep being deceived by the enemy and find ourselves agreeing with every negative thought he puts in our heads. And the result is we stay in the crazy cycle where nothing changes, we have no peace, the same old sins keep finding a way back into our lives, we remain in bondage to the same old habits and choices and we sit around wondering why everything is the way it is. You’ve read the quote – the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Crazy! Yet we all do it.

back in the saddle 6So what’s the answer? How do we get off the crazy train and make changes that will produce different results? It’s the same way you lost weight after you gained it back from the last time you lost it, the same way you quit smoking for the 11th time, got back into exercising after a “little break” of 2 years, starting eating healthy again after that epic holiday binge you just participated in, same way you got back on budget after you maxed out the credit cards – you just get back in the saddle after you’ve fallen off the wagon.Why is it so easy for us to tell our kids or even our friends “You can do it! Don’t give up! You have to keep trying and you’ll get it!” but yet it’s so hard for us to do it ourselves?

For goodness sakes, just do it! Determine right now to quit listening to the lies being fed into your mind that there’s no turning things around and then start turning them around. Quit avoiding church because you think everybody knows what a horrible person you are – they’re all sitting in their seats thinking the same thing about themselves so you might as well join them. Sign up for a small group. Call your church, a church, any church and ask if there’s anyone who could “disciple” you. You may not know what that means but they will and you need it if you’ve fallen off the wagon so just ask, it won’t kill you.

Turn off the junk you’ve been listening to in your car and change the station to a Christian station. Put down 50 shades of something and pick up a bible. Get over the fact that you don’t feel like – I don’t either but here I am. Quit telling everyone on Facebook every detail of your life and start telling God that you want and need Him more in your life. Stop belly-aching about how bad you’ve got it and start thanking God for how good He is.

Thank Him that even when you’d given up on yourself He didn’t and that He’s been waiting there with open arms for you the whole time you’ve been doing your own thing. The time is now so saddle up buckaroo and let’s do this thing together!

The Fixer

December 10, 2012 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

scandal 2One of my favorite shows on TV is “Scandal”. The show’s main character, Olivia Pope, is known as a “fixer”. Or more appropriately, she is The Fixer in Washington, DC. When someone finds themselves in the midst of a major problem or scandal that needs fixing, Olivia is the go-to girl. She has an uncanny ability to know exactly how things will play out in each situation and she has a response plan in place before her client hardly knows what has hit them. She is cool under pressure and a brilliant communicator. She is a strong woman who can handle most anything thrown her way and she never reveals her hand before it’s time. Even her own team many times has no idea what she is thinking because she is unbelievably difficult to read. The show’s characters are complicated, Olivia being the most complex by far. Her life revolves around her repairing the damage of one scandal after another. But like everyone, even the seemingly unbreakable Olivia Pope has a weakness. And while she is the Queen of fixing everyone else’s problems, the one thing Olivia cannot fix is herself.

mr fix itLike Olivia, many of us live our lives as fixers. We are constantly attempting to fix things like our marriages, our finances, our family drama, our job situations, our kids, our loneliness, our sadness, our addictions, our hurts and our brokenness. Some of us accept the help of others by receiving their advice, counseling, methods or resources. Others simply say “I got it” and attempt the needed repairs all alone because they have all the tools they think they need at their disposal. Olivia Pope has a team that works with her but she is undoubtedly in charge and what she says goes. And each team member is forever indebted to Olivia because they too have been “rescued” from impending disaster by the one and only Olivia Pope. Although she is surrounded by others she is completely in control and very unwilling to relinquish one bit of that control.

You may be like Olivia Pope and you may be a really good fixer. In fact, you may be the best fixer among those you know. You may have fixed long-standing family feuds, you may have fixed your marriage or your finances, you may have even fixed a personal addiction, a problem with your child or a major job issue. But like Olivia Pope, you too have an area you cannot fix, yourself. No matter how hard we try we will never be able to fix certain things. There will always be areas of hurt, unforgiveness, anger or other wounds to our hearts for which there is only one fix.

God healsGod is the original fixer and He alone can fix the areas that you and no other person or thing can fix. I was a fixer and I always found a way to fix that one thing that I just knew would make my life complete. The problem was that I never really fixed what was really wrong. Each thing that I thought would bring me happiness was only a temporary “fix” and I found myself right back where I started, feeling empty and looking for my next fix.

Finally someone told me I didn’t have a happiness problem, I had a joy problem. I based my happiness on my circumstances. I thought that if everything was fixed in my life then I’d be happy. What I didn’t realize was that there would always be something that needed fixing. But that if I would surrender my life to The Fixer, Jesus, then I could still have joy even when there was some area of my life in need of repair. I didn’t need a better husband, a bigger house or more stuff. I desperately needed a Savior. I needed to admit I couldn’t fix everything and that I needed Him to fix me.

nativity 2I needed to stop living a life of sin where all I thought about was myself. I needed to surrender my life to Jesus and seek His will for my life and not my own. I needed to stop trying to pretend like some things I couldn’t fix would simply fix themselves with time. I needed to trust God to heal those areas I’d never be able to fix or the areas I didn’t want to face. I needed the love of Christ and the peace that surpasses all understanding to fill the voids of my life. I needed the strength I have in Christ alone to overcome the things I’d never be able to in my own strength. I needed the promise of eternal life that I received the moment I said “I believe”. I needed His comfort in times of sorrow and His guidance in the times I felt lost and confused. I needed to believe that things could get better and they did when I placed my hope in Christ alone and no one else, including myself. I needed that precious baby born in a manger so long ago who came from heaven to earth to die the death that you and I deserve so we don’t have to. I needed his forgiveness of my sins so that I would be able to forgive others. I needed His unconditional love and acceptance more than I ever realized. I needed fixed. I needed Jesus.

Game Over

December 3, 2012 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

nfl 3My husband and I are NFL fans and most Sundays we have football on the TV no matter what teams are playing.  Because we live near Nashville we see the Tennessee Titans games locally. My 100-year-old grandmother, who lives with us, is also a football fan and more specifically she is a Titans fan. Yesterday she was watching the game from her room and about midway through the 2nd quarter she came out and announced “well, the Titans have lost.” I told her the game was only in the first half and even though they were behind there was still plenty of time for them to win the game. After all, in the NFL things can change very quickly and you can’t assume a team has lost until every last second has ticked off the clock. But my grandmother’s mind was made up. She had already given up on the Titans and she had written them off before the game was even half over.

As Christians we many times face the same scenario. By all accounts it’s game over. We check the scoreboard of our life and we decide there’s no way we can come back from our current situation. We give up hope as we determine that there is no possible scenario for us to stage a comeback from our dire circumstances – the marriage is over, we’re never going to get out of debt, we’ll never be happy or find Mr. Right, finding a good job is a lost cause, the family drama will never end, our spouse will never change, overcoming this disease just isn’t a reality. We walk out and give up and add our situation into the “loss” column. Yet many times we are just an instant away from a game-changing moment. If only we’d just hung in there just a little bit longer……..

scoreboardI’ve done it myself and I’ve witnessed it in the life of others. We decide early on that there is no way that whatever we are facing can end up being a “win” in our lives. So we just give up. We lose hope. We don’t have enough faith to believe that things can turn around. We can’t imagine any possible way. We proclaim that it’s going to take a miracle but then determine that miracles don’t happen to people like us. We can’t do anything to change the outcome, it is what it is. We underestimate God. And so that’s it.

In 1996 my husband and I walked out of 2 Jacksonville Jaguar football games thinking the game was over only to hear the stadium erupt as we left and we had to listen to the Jaguars stage an incredible comeback from our car radio. It didn’t take us long to figure out that we were never going to leave a Jaguars game again before the final second had clicked off the scoreboard. The Jaguars went on to have one stunning game after another and as fans it was thrilling to be a part of. No matter what the scoreboard said and how bleak the situation looked we believed they were going to win because we’d seen them do it and we had the faith that they we able to overcome even the most dire situations.

comeback2Our lives and the lives of many people we know have paralleled the Jaguars 1996 miracle season. I have experienced and I have seen it firsthand in the lives of others great comebacks when by all accounts there wasn’t a chance. My own marriage made a miraculous comeback when it seemed like there was no hope left. I’ve seen friends overcome impossible obstacles. I’ve known people who have come out on the winning side when the odds were highly stacked against them. I also know those who are right now in the middle of a losing battle. They feel like giving up. They know it looks like it’s game over. But like those of us who have lived through an unbelievable comeback, they are putting their trust in God to stage the comeback of all comebacks. They know that they cannot win without Him. They know the odds are not in their favor. But they know never to underestimate God and to never, ever walk out until the last second has clicked off the time clock.

touchdownHow much time is left on your clock. Have you already called the game when there’s still plenty of time left. Are you heading out the door because you’ve decided the game’s over? There’s still time left. Don’t take the chance that you may miss the very moment when the momentum shifts in your favor. You may be giving up just before the breakthrough. Praying to God right now and telling Him that you can’t see any way your situation can change but that you know that He is more than able to turn your loss into a win, may just be the game-changer you’ve been waiting for. Don’t miss that moment when the heavens erupt into a chorus of cheers because you hung in there and made the decision that you’re not giving up until you have a victory. It can happen. You’re moment is coming. Don’t find yourself on the outside when it comes. Take a seat and ride it out. Your comeback is playing out right now – and trust me, you don’t want to miss one second of it.

Seriously, Is It Worth It?

November 13, 2012 By in Observations Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

More often than I would care to admit this very question enters into my mind. Sometimes it actually makes its way out of my mind as I utter the words aloud in disbelief. Why, you ask, does this question frequent my thoughts? Blame it on Pride and her ugly, little step-sister, Stubbornness. All too often I encounter people who allow pride and stubbornness to keep them from something or someone they really wish they had if the truth be known.

So many of us allow our own pride to keep us from the very thing we want. Our pride and stubbornness becomes the barrier to our blessing. And more often than not we find every other possible person or thing to blame other than ourselves. If only we could be willing to act in humility and to take the step to break down the barriers, we could experience the blessing of whatever it is our pride and stubbornness has kept us from. And from my own experiences, it normally takes far too long before we reach that point of surrender. Then we find ourselves wondering “why did I allow that to go on for so long?” Standing your ground for the sake of your pride will never be worth whatever momentary embarassment, shame or humiliation – real or imagined – that you may feel. I promise.

What is your pride and stubbornness keeping you from? Is it the reconciliation of a relationship you once valued but one “offense” is keeping you from each other because neither is willing to take the first step toward an apology? Is it peace within your household because you and your spouse have decided to keep a scorecard on each other (“he did that so I’m going to do this”)? Is it freedom from the bondage of sin because you are unwilling to admit that your friends and family are right and that you really do have a problem and need help? Are you missing out on all the ways that God wants to bless your life because you are unwilling to surrender control to Him? Are you in a perpetual cycle of financial struggle because you think you know better than God how best to manage your money? Do you have years of anger and resentment built up toward someone because you’re unwilling to forgive them for something that happened a lifetime ago? Do you refuse to stop rolling your eyes every time someone mentions your coworker’s name because you think she got the promotion that you deserved? Have you been giving your spouse the “cold shoulder” for three days because you absolutely WILL NOT be the first to say I’m sorry this time? Are you willing to risk your eternal salvation because you have taken the stand that it will be your decision when you’re good and ready and not because your wife keeps nagging you about the whole church thing?

Whatever you are missing out on because of pride and stubbornness, seriously, is it worth it? Let me answer that question for you, no! It’s not worth it! It never will be! So what are you waiting for? Get over yourself and humbly take the first step toward conquering Pride and Stubbornness in your life. Only you know what action you need to take but whatever it is, don’t waste another minute.

And for the record, a funny thing always happens when I release a tirade upon the shortcomings I see in others. God gently put his finger on an area of pride in my life and lovingly whispers “seriously, Renée, is it worth it?” And in that moment, humbled by His overwhelming grace and mercy that I will never deserve, I find myself once again crying out “Father, forgive me.” Won’t you do the same? It’s so worth it!

Who Am I?

October 10, 2012 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

In the show “Hannah Montana” Miley Cyrus played a young girl who had “the best of both worlds”. She was a normal kid by day and a superstar by night. Each episode revolved around Miley’s constant struggle to keep her secret double life under wraps. After four seasons the series wrapped up with Miley finally finding peace as she revealed to the world who she really was. In the end she no longer had the daunting task of “keeping up an appearance” and bearing the burden of trying to be someone other than her true self.

People project a certain image of themselves for many reasons. A person may want to showcase certain qualities they possess for a job interview by projecting  an image of confidence and professionalism. So they may carefully choose what they will wear in order to best communicate those characteristics that they want the employer to notice. Unfortunately, there are those who project a false image of themselves in order to gain something they desire. A person may project an image of trustworthiness and sincerity in order to gain the confidence of another, only to use that trust later to harm the individual. The horrific testimony of those victimized by Jerry Sandusky are an example of how he projected this type of false image throughout his life while in reality he was found guilty of committing the most evil crimes. While Jerry Sandusky is an extreme example of hidden secrets and leading a double life, there are some of us who regularly project an image that may be something other than the “real” us.

Many times we exert so much enery trying to project an image to the people around us because we fear that if they knew who we really were they would judge us, ridicule us or reject us. Although our motive for projecting a certain image may not be driven by selfish desires, those driven by fear and insecurity are no less damaging.

I clearly remember a time in my life when I lived my own double life. I had two sets of “friends”, two different physical appearances, two very different attitudes that drove two very different behaviors. There was a certain image I projected to my parents, employer and certain friends in school and a completely opposite image I projected to my other set of so-called “friends”.  It was an exhaustive juggling act attempting to ensure the lines didn’t get crossed and I ended up exposed. Trying to keep my darker side secret was more than I could handle. What I allowed people to see on the outside – the image that I was happy, had it all together – was in complete opposition to what was really happening on the inside of me that was visible to no one. I was lost, full of shame and regret, and completely falling apart. I worked very hard keeping that part of me sealed away from the outside world.

But God saw the very part of me that I thought was hidden from view from everyone. When I reached my lowest point God revealed Himself to me when I turned to Him in desperation. And through the overwhelming love I felt from Him through my prayers of hopelessness and through believers who reached out to me, I was able to bring into the light my darkest places.  I repented of the things I had been doing and experienced the freedom from the burden of having to keep such destructive secrets and behaviors in the dark. And what I thought would happen when I imagined being exposed was nowhere nearly as bad as my worst imagination. While there were those who did turn away from me, it was for my best that they were no longer part of my life. Those who really cared for me were overwhelmingly supportive.

I began to spend time working on a new image – an image in Christ. Through discipleship with strong, Godly women, reading my bible and prayers of newfound hope, I began to understand my true identity, my identity in Christ. The more time I spent in His presence the more my life was transformed into His image. I began to believe who He says I am in His word and not who others said I was or how I saw myself. I no longer had the desires to do the things I once had. My desire was to do the things that would be pleasing in His sight. I no longer was insecure about who I was, I gained confidence in who I am in Christ. I no longer feared someone finding out about the real me, I rejoiced in the fact that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by my Father in Heaven (Psalm 139:14). I was no longer bound by guilt, shame and regret. I was captured by freedom, victory and His unconditional love for me.

In Christ I am fully redeemed and I am the righteousness of Christ. But I still live in a sin-filled world and although my soul (my mind, will and emotions) desires to do what is right, it doesn’t have the ability to do so (Romans 7:18). So, my journey is not over and I am still daily seeking God’s presence until the time when both my soul and my spirit are aligned. It’s not until I stand in His presence in heaven and out of the presence of sin on earth that I will be fully glorified (Romans 8:18, 1Cor. 15:53). But until that time I have the assurance of who I am in Christ. I know that as a believer, if I am projecting any image other than that of Christ then I’m projecting a false image. My identity in Christ is the only legitimate image I was created to project. Anything else is an illegitimate, false persona that He never intended for me.

Are you struggling to find your identity? Have you allowed others to tell you who you are? As a believer, have you lost sight of the promises of God that say you are forgiven, blessed, a new creation set free from the bondage of sin, accepted and redeemed. Or are you someone who has never known that it was even possible to be forgiven and set free from the shame and guilt of the darkest areas of your life? It is possible for those who believe in Jesus, who died for your sins so that you could have a new identity in Him. If you’re in an identity crisis in your life, seek God and surrender your life to Him. He will give you a new life and a new identity, one set free from the weight of trying to be something other than who He created you to be. No matter who you might think you are, you are loved and chosen by God and your true identity is in Him.

Ignoring the Warning Signs

September 30, 2012 By in Observations Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

My youngest son Scott has been fascinated with all things Titanic for several years now. He has read many books about the most well-known ship in history and knows countless facts and details about the fateful night in 1912 that she hit an iceburg and sank. One year for his birthday we visited the Titanic museum and spent hours looking at actual pictures and artifacts from the ship. There is just something about the Titanic that most of us find captivating.

Scott recently shared with me some incredible circumstances and procedural failures that occured leading up to one of the greatest maritime disasters in history. I was astonished at the number of missed warning signs that, had they been heeded, could have prevented such profound calamity. The ship received a least 6 ice warnings the day of its sinking but most were ignored.

One of the warnings came late in the evening and detailed a large number of icebergs in the Titanic’s path. But because the wireless system had been down the day before, the crewman on duty had a stack of priority passenger messages to send out. He wrote down the warning, set it aside and it was never delivered to the bridge.

The crew on duty in the crow’s nest, whos specific assignment was to look out for ice, were doing so without the use of binoculars because the prior shift had misplaced them. When the crew did spot a huge iceberg directly in front of the ship, the first officer misjudged the distance to impact and hesitated to give a command. After a 30-second delay, he made the decision to slow down and attempt to turn away from the iceberg. If the engines had been left at full speed and Titanic turned immediately after the iceberg was spotted, the ship would have likely missed the iceberg, with a fair distance to spare.

Finally, the ship’s builders advised White Star Lines that the ship could hold many more life boats than the number that was legally required. But White Star chose not to add any additional lifeboats even though they knew they didn’t have nearly enough for all the passengers onboard because ironically they felt it would be too expensive for the most luxurious and costly ship ever built. Because of this decision and lack of preparedness among the crew, many lives were lost at sea that could have been saved.

So many times our lives are like the Titanic disaster – filled with warnings of imminent danger that we both ignore and are ill-prepared to handle. When we are living in a cycle of destructive behavior it seems like everyone but us can see that we are forging full steam ahead on a collision course full of damage and regret. But we seem blinded to the glaring obstructions right in front of us, many times until its too late to avoid them. Why is that? Why do we choose to ignore the obvious when we know the actions and decisions we are making are hurtling us toward personal and relational destruction? I’ve been in that very place in my life and have wondered many times why I continued on a course that I knew was going to lead me down the wrong path.

I had responded to the gospel and believed Jesus had died for my sins when I was 13 years old. I asked for His forgiveness and according to God’s word, I was born again. Like the Titanic I was a magnificant new creation – unsinkable and a beauty to behold. But without the proper preparation and the right people in place to keep me afloat I quickly fell for the doubts of the naysayers who said that I really hadn’t changed. Without people in my life to disciple me and teach me how to walk out my new faith long after the emotional experience of responding to the gospel had passed, I found myself ill-equipped to battle the deceptive ways of the enemy. I thought that if I made a mistake, I didn’t deserve to be blessed, to be happy and to live a life worthy of being called a Christian. The first mistake I made led to the next and I quickly found myself believing the lie that God no longer loved me because I didn’t measure up. I had failed Him and I deserved to hit that iceberg head on and the resulting damage was inevitable for my life.

But I learned in time that unlike the Titanic, a life in Christ is unsinkable. There may be icebergs in our lives but through repentance the resulting damage of our sin can be repaired if we will seek God’s forgiveness and turn away from our sins and back toward Him. And unlike the staff and crew of the Titanic, we must be prepared and we must be aware of the warning signs when they appear. The key to being prepared is building strong foundations in our lives based on the spiritual truths of the bible. We must have people in our lives that will speak the truth to us in love and let us know when we have veered off course. We must spend time in God’s presence through prayer and reading His word. We must get involved in small groups to build relationally with other believers who can encourage and disciple us in our walk. We must attend and serve in a local church. And we must commit to daily seek God’s will for our lives through obedience to His commands.

Are there warning signs in your life that you are choosing right now to ignore because you think you deserve to crash head-on into the iceberg you’re facing? Have you failed to prepare and instead of minor damage, you may receive grave damage when you do hit an iceberg? If you are a born-again Christian, do you know that you are an unsinkable, magnificant new creation? Do you know it’s not too late to repent and turn back to God in order to get back on course? Don’t let the avoidable sink you and cause your life to end up a tragic tale of missed warnings. Let this be your warning – it’s time to start building an unsinkable life in Christ.

High Expectations

July 25, 2012 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Have you ever had a moment with your children when you realized that they had no clue how to do something that you had assumed they knew. Or maybe it was a co-worker and you saw them struggling to do something that you figured everyone knew how to do. Have you asked your child to hand you the pliers and they stare at you with a look that says “what you talking ’bout Willis?” Sometimes we just assume that someone knows something just because we do – but obviously that’s not always the case.

Recently I took my son to open a bank account. We sat down with the new account person and got everything set up. She explained that Ryan would need to make a deposit of at least $5.00 to finish the process so she escorted us over to the teller and informed her that he would be depositing a check to open his new account. Ryan had a paycheck that would serve as his first deposit. Although Ryan had another bank account, all the deposits made to it had been direct deposit. This was the first time he had actually made a deposit in person. As we all stood there waiting for him to complete the deposit slip, sign the check and hand it to the teller, he just looked at me and said “I don’t know what’s going on. What am I supposed to do?”

In that moment I realized that the teller, the account manager and myself had expected him to know how to do the deposit simply because it was a common thing that we had all done so many times. What I failed to consider was that making a deposit is not something automatic that everyone knows how to do without some instruction first. Ryan felt confused, unsure and embarassed. This was something completely new to him and he needed someone to guide him through the process and explain each step before he could be expected to do it on his own.

Ryan’s experience at the bank made me think about how I had felt as a new Christian. I remember how it felt being in a bible study and being asked to look up and read a particular scripture and everyone expected me to instinctively know exactly where to turn to in my bible. I remember feeling completely panicked as I looked for the verse for what seemed like forever. I remember hearing religious terms and phrases and having no idea what they meant and how afraid I was to ask because everyone else seemed to already know their meaning. I remember thinking that because I was born again I had to be perfect. If I made one mistake I felt so ashamed that I didn’t even want to be around anyone from church because I thought they were all perfect and never made mistakes. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I just knew I wanted my life to be different and I wanted to do things right in the eyes of God but I didn’t know how to do it or even where to begin.

Years later I am now by definition the “mature” Christian, although most days I still feel like I have so much to learn and so much further to go in my faith walk. But there are many things about the Christian faith that are now second nature to me. At least now I know exactly where to turn to in the bible when asked to read a scripture. But it has taken a very long time to get to that place and I didn’t get there on my own. There were other Christians along the way who understood that they could not expect me to know everything there is to know about how to be a follower of Christ just because I had been saved. Some things needed to be taught. And with grace, compassion and patience they discipled me in the foundations of our faith.

As believers it is our responsibility to teach new believers how to follow Christ beyond just Sunday mornings. We are to teach them foundational truths like lordship, repentance and forgiveness. We must guide them through spiritual disciplines like reading and studying their bible, serving their local church and spending time in worship. We must show patience and understanding as we help them learn to pray and we must be compassionate when they fail in their walk so they never feel condemnation. We must model for them how to be obedient to God’s commands. But as the church are we truly busy making disciples or are we just too busy and they are left to make it on their own? When new believers perceive that we think they should know how to do everything without being taught then they are made to feel inferior, ashamed and embarassed.

Many new believers simply stop attending church and disconnect from other believers because they don’t understand how to follow Christ and the first time they make a mistake or make a wrong choice they feel like they’ve failed and that they don’t fit in. They feel that way because they’ve never been taught grace, mercy and forgiveness. It’s not intentional on our part but we must remember how it was for us as new believers. What we do have to be intentional about is making disciples. If we consider ourselves Christ followers then we must follow in His ways and teach those who are new disciples. Jesus never expected that His disciples would just know what to do after they made the decision to follow Him. He knew they were like toddlers just learning to walk so He helped them by lifting them up when they fell and walking with them as he showed them what it meant to be His disciple. Jesus had high expectations for His followers but He never expected them to meet those expectations on their own. He walked alongside of them every step of the way. Is there a new believer you know who needs you to walk alongside of them? Ask God to help you fulfill His great commission: “therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matt. 28:19-20). Let Him guide you as you help guide others in obedience.