Tag Archives: Family

In a World Full of Options

January 4, 2012 By in Encouragement, Observations Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

We live in a world that is full of options. When we are faced with challenges there are many available solutions. And for most of us, when everything is going well we would probably all agree, that in the world we live in it seems that there are options for most any circumstance or situation that we may face. With the resources available today there is options you may never have thought possible. In most cases it’s just a matter of deciding which is the best option.

But for some reason when things are not going so well and we hit difficult times in our lives many of us are quick to come to the conclusion that there aren’t any options. I hear people say “divorce is the only option”. Or their excuse for making a wrong decision that caused their life to be a huge mess is “I didn’t have any other option”.  Why do we place such limits in our lives when things are not going according to plan? The reason is because we falsely believe that it’s up to us to fix everything that we’ve messed up. That things will only get better through our limited abilities. And when our own selfish choices are the reason for the mess, we feel incapable in our own strength to fix it because we already failed by allowing it to happen in the first place.

Whether it’s a marriage in crisis, children who are out of control or financial debt so deep that we cannot see a way out, we see no other option but giving up. People will say “I’m at the end of my rope, I can’t take it any more”. Many of these are people who believe in God. They know He exists and they believe that He is the creator of the universe and is capable of healing the sick and giving sight to the blind. But because they think it’s up to them to fix their situation, they don’t see our God, the God of miracles, as an option to bring a miracle to their situation. So they give up hope.

But when you are out of options, you’ve reached the end of your rope and you see that giving up is the only option left, then you are in a perfect place for God to step into your impossible situation and do the miraculous. When you think all hope is gone and you’ve exhausted all that you in your own power are capable of, then God is just waiting for you to say “God, I surrender! I can’t fix this!” It’s in that moment of surrender when you are willing to turn the situation over to Him that the doors can begin to open for your miracle to happen. The marriage that you thought never stoood a chance, the impossible financial situation, the hurt inside that you thought you would always have to live with or the addiction you can’t seem to overcome can begin to turn around. The key is surrender.

In a world seemingly filled with options, there really is only one foolproof option that works every time and that’s trusting God with every area of our lives. The best option will always be to surrender control to the One who has the world in His hands, including your world. He is more than able to make a miracle out of your mess. But in order for that to happen you must see God as an option in the first place then you have to be in a place where He is your only option. When those two things happen then nothing is impossible because with God all things are possible. Are you ready to surrender?

When You Don’t Notice You’ve Reached a Crossroads in Life

December 31, 2011 By in Encouragement, Observations Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Many times crossroads are well marked with flashing lights and plenty of signs to warn you that you are approaching roads that will intersect one another. There may even be speed bumps or rumble strips to warn you that you will soon be required to stop. But sometimes when you are in an unfamiliar area you may come upon a crossroads and barely have time to stop. And in extreme cases you may pass through a crossroads without realizing it until it’s behind you. In those situations you may be lucky and come out on the other side completely unscathed. But unfortunately there is also the possibility of serious if not fatal consequences.

In life crossroads are much the same. Many times we see them well in advance and have plenty of warning that we must stop in order to make the right decision on which direction to proceed and when the time is right to proceed safely. And sometimes we come upon them unexpectedly but in those instances we still have time to stop and evaluate direction and timing. But there are those times when we pass right through the crossroads of life and don’t realize what’s happened until it’s too late. It’s in those instances that we are in danger of making decisions that can have lasting consequences in our lives.

Several years ago a friend’s daughter had made a decision during an emotional time of her life. She set her mind and didn’t look back. When she hit the crossroads she didn’t even realize it. She made a choice at a critical time that she can now see was not the best decision for her future. She had breezed through the crossroads and never looked backed.

At the time it seemed like there were no consequences to her not noticing she was at a major point in her life. She took a turn that felt right at the moment. But that turn took her down a road she can look back on and wish she had never taken. Now she sees that there was a defining moment when she hit the crossroads but she was unprepared to notice it at the time and had no warning signs in place to let her know she was approaching a critical intersection in her life.

As women our warning signs, our rumble strips are our friends. And as believers we have the gift of the Holy Spirit to give us internal signals that we need to slow down and evaluate. Don’t set your life on cruise control and pass through life’s intersections without slowing down to give prayerful and thoughtful time to your decisions. Call on trusted people in your life and ask them to give you biblical wisdom to help you in your decision-making.

There are two simple ways you can avoid passing through the crossroads of life without noticing. First, spend time in prayer and communicate with God by reading His word so that when you hear His Holy Spirit whisper “slow down” you won’t miss the warning. Secondly spend time developing authentic friendships so you will have people in your life who will be your rumble strips. There’s no guarantee you’ll never take a wrong turn but you’re less like to miss the intersection if you have your warning signs in place.

Christmas is like a magnifying glass

December 25, 2011 By in Encouragement, Observations Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

For most of us our Christmas memories as children are good ones. I’m not sure if that’s because Christmas was really better back then or if we were just oblivious to what was really going on around us because we were so excited for Santa to come.

But as we get older it seems like Christmas becomes a time of stress, sadness and disappointment for many of us. The reason holidays can be such a difficult time is because Christmas is like a huge magnifying glass that magnifies everything that is wrong in our lives, especially when it comes to relationships. Christmas seems to cause us to be so much more aware of the enormity of the fact that all the expectations we had of Christmas as a child are now mostly unmet in our adult life.

It’s the time of year when it’s never more obvious to the divorced parent that they had a failed marriage when they have to put their child on a plane and send them off to the other parent for the holidays. It’s more evident to those whose families are estranged when every commercial on TV seems to show happy families all gathering together and everyone is enjoying each other’s company. It’s never more lonely on Christmas day for the soldier who is deployed away from family as they sit alone a million miles from home. Or for the single person who has no one special to share the holiday with, Christmas is the longest day of the year.

For those who have lost loved ones the loss is magnified when the realization hits that they will never again celebrate the holiday with the one they miss so much. For the families whose marriage is in crisis, Christmas magnifies the brokenness in the home and ushers in a new level of hopelessness when everyone else seems to have it all together – or so it seems when you’re the one who’s marriage is falling apart. For the child who is on the Angel Tree because his single mom cannot afford to buy gifts, his situation is magnified as all the other kids in class talk about what they’re getting for Christmas this year. He just hopes he gets picked so he’ll get something and won’t be embarassed when everyone asks what he got when they return to school.

Christmas is not easy for everyone. If you are one of the fortunate ones whose family has strong, healthly relationships and the get togethers are special moments where memories are made, please take time to give thanks that you are richly blessed. If you are like so many others whose situation is magnified this time of year and you are accutely aware of the failures, hurts, losses and disappointments in your life please take time to give thanks. No matter what your situation is and no matter how hopeless the holidays make you feel, you can still find hope in the one who’s birth is magnified in the songs you hear over and over every where you go. In the words of “O Holy Night” – long lay the world in sin and error pining, til he appeared and the soul felt it’s worth. The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees. O hear the angel voices, O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

You see, this is the time of year that we long for in our souls. We have long been in sin and error but Jesus was born and finally our souls felt worthy. We should feel the thrill of hope, we should be rejoicing and falling on our knees because our Savior was born. We no longer have to live feeling hopeless and in despair because, through His birth, everything is new and glorious. We don’t have to live consumed by our circumstances and the enormity of our failures, shortcomings and mistakes. We can seek the One who came to save us and in Him find the peace that we so long for. Don’t spend another Christmas feeling overwhelmed at the magnitude of this life and all it’s shortcomings. The things of this world will never bring us the joy our soul seeks. It’s only in the Savior, the Christ who was born on that holy night so long ago that we will truly find the peace and joy we so deeply long for. Let this Christmas be the one that you fall on your knees and receive His forgiveness and salvation. You can awaken tomorrow to a new and glorious morning where the only thing magnified in your life is His love for you.

Wisdom from a boy and the dog who loves him

December 20, 2011 By in Encouragement Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As I was going to bed my oldest son texted me from downstairs. We had just said goodnight and he had headed down to his room with his faithful companion, Winston. In the text he said that he was looking at Winston and thought of how much his dog knows him.

Winston loves him and spends a lot of time with him. He knows my son’s voice, he knows the sound of his car when he drives in the driveway. And he knows what my son is saying to him and obeys his commands.

But what Ryan realized is that even though Winston knows him very well, he really has no clue what’s going on in Ryan’s life. Winston’s brain cannot begin to comprehend everything we as humans can and he’ll never know the vastness of Ryan’s life and all that is going on in it.

And his conclusion was that much in the same way, our minds cannot begin to understand the vastness of God and His love for us that He would send His only son to this earth so that He may die for us.

Through tears I read the final words of the text that said “God is like me and I’m like Winston. I know Him, I love Him, but until I join Him in heaven I will never fully understand the extent of who He is and how very much He loves me.”

As we celebrate this season and the joy that it is to give to others and to receive let us not forget that the long awaited Savior was born on that divine night so long ago. Born so that you may know Him, love Him, spend time with Him, recognize His voice and obey His commands. And in return He will love you more than you can ever fully wrap your mind around.

“Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, til He appeared and the soul felt it’s worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices. Oh, night divine. Oh, night when Christ was born.”