High Performance Christians

If you’ve ever been to a church you’ve probably seen them – the High Performance Christians. They’re running around looking very busy in hopes that someone may notice, especially the Pastor. They are quick to tell you what committee they are on and what area of ministry they oversee.

They sign up for every class, event and opportunity to volunteer. They have their bible highlighted with lots of handwritten notes along the side of the scriptures. And they sit right up front and are the first to speak to the Pastor after the service ends.

They even update their Facebook status so everyone knows that the Pastor sat at their table at the restaurant after service.

Even those who serve the church behind the scenes and are not seeking attention are still tempted to “perform” for God. They think that if they read their bible enough, pray enough and do enough bible studies that God will love them more. But the truth is that God loves us no matter how we “perform” for Him.

If we don’t pray a certain number of hours each week or we don’t read  our bible every day, He still loves us. His love for us is not based on how good a Christian we are. He simply loves us. There is nothing we can do to make him love us more and nothing we can do to make Him love us less. He just loves us.

Let that thought sink in……He simply loves you. You do not have to live in fear of losing His love if you do something wrong. And you do not have to live under the pressure to “perform” to make Him love you more.

In the same sense we are to love others no matter how well they “perform” for us. (Mark 12:30-31).

People will let us down – they’ll disappoint us. But we are to love them no matter what just as God loves us no matter what.

As Christmas approaches, think of someone you need to love even though they have not performed to your expectations and ask God to give you the strength to love them just as He loves you.

Behind the Scenes of An Extreme Makeover

For my son’s birthday we decided it was time to redo his bedroom to give it an updated and age appropriate look. So we set out to perform a much needed extreme makeover. We started by removing three layers of wallpaper then painting the room a warm shade of blue. We bought a new bed, new bedding and a new rug. We brought in a floor plant and changed the ceiling fan to a more modern one. And a new lamp and some new wall hangings finished out the job. His room now looks completely different than before. But the thing is, nothing has really changed. If you remove all of the new items from the room, what’s left underneath the surface is still the same. Many people live their lives much the same way. They try to cover up the pain they feel on the inside by changing things on the surface. They change their appearance. They change relationships, jobs, homes, surroundings, and spouses. They do so in hopes that if they make “surface” changes then they will feel a change on the inside that will overcome the wounds and hurts that nobody can see on the surface. But when you strip all of that away, nothing has really changed on the inside. The only option for real transformation on the inside is when we are born again and become a new creation through Jesus Christ. We keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results. But the truth is nothing will change until we surrender our lives to the only One who can bring about real change. Jesus came in human form so that He could die on the cross the death that we deserve. He gave His life so we don’t have to give ours as payment for our sins. So as you give and receive gifts this Christmas, receive the gift of salvation, eternal life and a new life transformation so that you may be healed of the hurts and pains that have held you captive for so long. It’s time for a real change, a below-the-surface life transformation that is found only in Jesus Christ. Ask Him into your heart and to forgive your sins and you’ll have the joy this season of receiving a real Extreme Makeover.

The thing about Christmas

Over the years I’ve come to realize that the excitement and anticipation most of us feel about Christmas is not because we are going to get presents, although they are always fun to receive. It’s not about eating a big meal and then napping while watching football. It’s not about being with family and friends, the lights and decorations or the time off from work or school. I believe the reason there is an excitement in our hearts is because our hearts belong to the One who’s birth we celebrate during this season. The anticipation we feel inside is by design. We look forward to this holiday more so than any other because we all have an internal longing to be with the One who created us. And because we celebrate the birth of Jesus at Christmas the longing is more evident because the holiday is all about Jesus and the fact that He came in human form so that He may die for us because of God’s overwhelming love for us, His children. That longing we feel is purposeful so that we may seek God to fill the empty places in our hearts. But many people search to fill those places with a variety of things like relationships, food, alcohol, material things, power or position. And it is never more evident than at Christmas of how empty we are without Christ. What should be a happy time is a time of great sorrow for so many because the excitement and anticipation build and once Christmas comes and goes those without a Savior are left to realize that once again their expectations are unmet and the emptiness remains. If that is you, let this Christmas be the one where you have great expectancy not for the holiday to bring about the happiness you long for but expect God to fill the empty places in your heart and allow Him to give you the gift of eternal life through His son Jesus Christ who’s birth we celebrate. Simply ask and He will freely give you the peace and true joy you seek.

Seasons change – and that’s a good thing

The leaves have all fallen and the cool air reminds me that winter is settling in. The changing seasons are inevitable and they show us that old things come to an end and new things begin. Sometimes when there is a new season in our lives there is great anticipation and excitement as God moves us into something new. Other times there is apprehension and doubt. We may hesitate to move from what is comfortable out of fear of the unknown. If you choose to hang on to a season God is calling you from, you may begin to experience frustation, difficulties and challenges. God’s timing is perfect and “He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).  And if you hestitate because you’re afraid of surrendering to His will you may just miss out on something incredible that is waiting just a step of faith away. But when you put your trust in God when He reveals to you that it’s time for a change of season, you can enter in with the confidence that no matter what the change may look like going in or how difficult it may seem, God desires only His best for you. We can entrust the details to Him and be assured that He will never take us anywhere that He will not be right beside us. When your heart’s desire is to be in the center of God’s will, your worries and doubts will turn to joy and peace as the new season unfolds into God’s destiny for your life. If you are in a place where you know God is telling you that it’s time to move on, be obedient and take a step of faith as you follow His lead into the new season. Following the end of a season in your life marks the blossoming of new things and a new season God wants to usher you into. Embrace it and get moving!

Follow Your Heart

The latest news to consume the media world is the announcement by Kim Kardashian that she is seeking a divorce after her short 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries. In her own words she said “it just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for”. I often see marriages in crisis. I live near a military post and many of my friends and the people I know are active duty. Marriage is not easy even under the best circumstances but when one of the spouses is deployed to a war zone for a year and the other spouse is left behind to run the household and raise the children without their soldier by their side, even the strongest marriages are strained. When I see couples fighting to keep their marriages together because they believe so much in the institute of marriage and the vows to which they’ve commited I am encouraged and my faith is built stronger. But when Kim Kardashian says “But I do know that I have to follow my heart” and ends her marriage after just 72 days I am angry. I’m angry that she is making a mockery of her marriage vows. I’m angry that she says she has to follow her heart because I want to know what she was following just 72 days earlier when she vowed to love and cherish Kris Humphries in good times and bad. I’m angry because there are countless women who watched her fairy tale wedding on TV and who want so badly to be like her and that now think it’s ok just to give up on a sacred vow made before God just because it wasn’t the fairy tale they thought it would be. I’m angry because there were millions of dollars spent on a wedding yet there is not enough government funding to provide adequate marriage counseling for those who sacrifice for our country and for education on how to divorce-proof a military marriage. I’m angry because every day I’m telling women “hang in there, don’t give up” and Kim Kardashian is telling women “I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned”. The whole problem with “following your heart” is your heart cannot be trusted. Our heart is where our feelings are and our feelings change based on our circumstances. When the circumstances are good, we are happy. When they change and things start to get bad, we are unhappy. If we make major life decisions based on how we “feel” at the moment we may make a huge mistake that affects not only ourselves but others as well. There may be children involved who will be forever affected by a choice we make based on how we felt at the moment we made that decision. If given time and opportunity, our circumstances many times can and will change which means our feelings can and will change. Don’t make decisions based on how you feel at the moment and whatever you do, do not put all your trust in your heart. The only place to put your trust is in Jesus Christ. He is unchanging because He is not affected by circumstances. Unlike our feelings that blow about with the winds of change, Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). It is time to put your trust where it won’t be affected by ever-changing circumstances. Put your trust in and follow Him.

What’s a Modest Girl to Do on Halloween?

Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked but for some strange reason I am. I took my children into the big pumpkin costume place that sets up camp near our local mall weeks before Halloween. I’ve been in there before and maybe it was the same then and I just didn’t notice. But I don’t think so. I believe women’s and girl’s costumes have digressed to a level that goes beyond sexy, beyond “pushing the edge of the envelope”, beyond perverted to completely disturbing. I stood there in the women’s costume area scanning the costumes looking for one that didn’t look like a costume that would be used in an adult film. There was the nurse, the librarian, the cop, the witch and the french maid all so short there is not a conceivable way you could sit down without revealing whatever you have on underneath or the lack there of. I made my way to the girl’s area and was horrified to find that even the youngest girls costumes have been amped up to a level of sex appeal that has formerly been reserved for adults. The young girls costumes were belly dancers, mermaids, starlets, cheerleaders, kittens and superheroes that were mostly obscene and inappropriate for young girls. Is this ok? Is this just the world we live and we are to just accept it? Have you ever thought about the connection between the decreasing sense of modesty, the rise in sexually explicit images and the depiction of young girls and women in videos, commercials and print ads to the increase in the multi-billion dollar industry of child pornography? A quick search of the internet reveals some sobering statistics: In 2005, child pornography became a $3 billion a year industry (Top Ten Reviews). In a recent study of those charged with possession of child pornography, 40 percent had also sexually victimized children. Of those arrested between 2000 and 2001, 83 percent possessed images of children between the ages 6 and 12; 39 percent had images of children between the ages 3 and 5; and 19 percent had images of infants and toddlers under the age of 3 (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Child Pornography Possessors Arrested in Internet-Related Crimes: Findings for the National Juvenile Online Victimization Study 2005). Maybe, just maybe if women and young girls chose to dress more modestly then women might begin to be less exploited and degraded in the media. It’s time to change the perception of women and to stop accepting that “sex sells” as simply the world we live in. I don’t buy it, maybe it’s time you don’t either.

Mean Girls

The popularity of shows like “Real Housewives”, “Teen Mom” and the 2004 movie “Mean Girls” draws attention to the increasing division and animosity among women. In these shows young women are made to think that gossip is a normal part of relationships between girls. They also are taught to believe that they must compete for a boy’s attention and that they will be happier if they have a boyfriend. All of these “reality” situations seen on TV are creating distrust and disloyalty in women’s so-called friendships. Unity among females is clearly under attack and it is very purposeful. As women we have a bullseye on our backs because according to God’s word there is a very real enemy who knows there is power in the unity of women. When women join together and encourage one another and stand by each other it strikes fear in the enemy. He knows the impact we can have on each other when  we display the very characteristics of the One in who’s image we were created. But instead of standing in unity women are constantly comparing themselves to other women. And due to the lack of reality on “reality TV” and a lack of truth in the media, women believe they don’t measure up to other women which in turn fuels isolation and division. The problem with the comparisons are that they are not apples to apples. Women today are comparing themselves to something false, staged or edited to a point that it’s impossible for them to measure up. The images and portrayals of women in music videos and print advertising further add to the isolation and lack of authentic relationships among women. Women need real friendships. They need other women who they can trust and rely on in their times of need. They need good friends that they can share their goals with, tell their struggles to and who can let them know they are not alone in their doubts and worries. They need girlfriends to laugh with, to cry with and to share life’s moments with. Women are not your enemy. Men are not your enemy. The media is not your enemy. They are all just tools used by the one true enemy of your soul who longs to keep you in isolation so you will be less likely to have a relationship with the One True God and to keep you from authentic friendships with ladies who can encourage you, pray with you and walk with you during times of struggle. Isn’t it time you turn off the TV and find some real friends you can do life with?

Time Heals All Pain

Time heals all pain, or does it? I am the primary caretaker for my 99-year-old grandmother. Each morning about this time I get up and set the necessary things out in the bathroom for her and then knock on her door to wake her up. Most mornings she’s already awake and responds with a chipper “come in”.  For her age she is in remarkably good health. She is on one medication, she reads the entire newspaper daily and she loves to watch Dancing With the Stars. Of course she is slow in her movement, especially in the morning when I help her out of bed but she walks without assistance. Her body isn’t what it used to be but she has very few limitations considering her age. But ironically it’s her emotional limitations that are most paralyzing in her life. She is gripped by fear – fear of death, fear of falling, fear of someone breaking in the house, fear of not having enough money to pay the extremely minimal bills she has, fear of being alone, and fear of not being in control. I remember earlier in her life she had a fear of flying which prevented her from traveling anywhere beyond a reasonal driving distance. Her fear of driving in snow kept her homebound whenever there was even a minimal snowfall in our town. Her fear of water kept her from enjoying time on the lake with family. And her fear of germs created extra work for her as she felt the need to sterilize everything before it was used. But back then her fears were more of a hassle than a handicap. My theory has always been that over time things would get better – that at 99-years-old and having never had to experience any extreme illnesses or tragedy in her life that she would be living carefree with not a worry in the world other than the obvious physical concerns. I thought she would feel free to not worry about the things in life that caused her such concern when she was younger. Based on her life experiences I assumed she would find enjoyment in her twilight years with a peace of mind that she has lived a fulfilling life, is blessed with family who loves her dearly and with the comfort of knowing all her financial needs are securely met.  But what I have found in not only my grandmother but others, is that over time the things in our lives that go unchecked, unhealed, and unanswered only get worse. The roots begin to go deeper in our souls and take hold of our lives with a grip so tight we become bound by whatever it is that has us held prisoner. For some it’s unforgiveness toward someone who has hurt them, for others it is insecurity and fear of failure, for others it’s the fear of rejection rooted in someone they thought loved them and would always be there for them leaving them unexpectedly. For many it’s a sense of shame and guilt associated with something they did that consumes their thoughts and affects their relationships and behaviors years later. We falsely believe that over time we will feel better – that the hurt won’t hurt so bad, that the guilt will diminish and that the anger will subside – but it doesn’t. We become a prisoner to our past. There is only one option that will bring the true freedom we seek. Only One who can set us free from the things that keep us bound from living life instead of just trying to make it through it. His name is Jesus and He died for your freedom, He died for the forgiveness of the sins that hold you captive and for the unforgiveness toward others that keeps you bound. It’s time to cut whatever it is off at the root before it goes any deeper. It’s time to surrender it to God and let Him begin healing those deep-rooted wounds and hurts in you. It’s time to heal all pain.

Wounded Warriors

I grew up and still live in a military town. I served in the US Navy. I respect and appreciate those who serve and their families who make incredible sacrifices for our freedom. My heart aches for those who return from war wounded. Many times the wounds are very obvious. Other times the wounds are not so apparent when you look at the soldier and their family. It’s the wounds we don’t see that cause the most damage. I’ve seen marriages and families in crises because of the unseen wounds of war. And in many of those cases the wounded turn to indulgence and excess to provide healing for their invisible pain. That type of healing is temporary and eventually the wounds reach a point of irreparable damage. The same holds true for wounds we received as children. Many of the hurts we endured during childhood create wounds that as adults we attempt to heal on our own with a myriad of remedies. We seek out various indulgences like food, shopping, alcohol, excessive exercising, or busyness to bring us relief from the aches of our wounds. These addictions bring temporary reprive from the pain but they also imprison us. The shame behind our addictions cause us to build walls. But the trouble with building walls around yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same walls that secure your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed. There is only one way to bring complete healing to hurts and wounds of this life and that is the love of Jesus Christ. Allow Him to bring healing to the deepest aches of your heart. Having to live with the pain for the rest of your life is not your only option.

All Hope is Gone

Do you ever feel like all hope is gone? Like there is nothing that can happen to change your situation? I had a co-worker many years ago who shared with me that she had lost all hope of ever having a baby. It broke my heart because this came from a woman who said she believed in God. The problem with that is you can’t believe in God and have no hope at the same time. We are told in Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” If our hope is in God and we know that He is faithful, then it is impossible for us to be in a hopeless situation. My co-worker was putting her hope in a god but not in THE God. I’m not sure which god her hope was in – maybe it was her own abilities, or her spouse, maybe a doctor or procedure but it wasn’t in the God she said she professed to believe in. As one of my favorite songs says “My hope is in you, God. I am steadfast, I will not be moved. I’m anchored, never shaken. All my hope is in You.” He is the hope for the hopeless. Isaiah 40:41 says “but those who put their hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”. Who or what are you putting your hope in?