Mean Girls

The popularity of shows like “Real Housewives”, “Teen Mom” and the 2004 movie “Mean Girls” draws attention to the increasing division and animosity among women. In these shows young women are made to think that gossip is a normal part of relationships between girls. They also are taught to believe that they must compete for a boy’s attention and that they will be happier if they have a boyfriend. All of these “reality” situations seen on TV are creating distrust and disloyalty in women’s so-called friendships. Unity among females is clearly under attack and it is very purposeful. As women we have a bullseye on our backs because according to God’s word there is a very real enemy who knows there is power in the unity of women. When women join together and encourage one another and stand by each other it strikes fear in the enemy. He knows the impact we can have on each other when  we display the very characteristics of the One in who’s image we were created. But instead of standing in unity women are constantly comparing themselves to other women. And due to the lack of reality on “reality TV” and a lack of truth in the media, women believe they don’t measure up to other women which in turn fuels isolation and division. The problem with the comparisons are that they are not apples to apples. Women today are comparing themselves to something false, staged or edited to a point that it’s impossible for them to measure up. The images and portrayals of women in music videos and print advertising further add to the isolation and lack of authentic relationships among women. Women need real friendships. They need other women who they can trust and rely on in their times of need. They need good friends that they can share their goals with, tell their struggles to and who can let them know they are not alone in their doubts and worries. They need girlfriends to laugh with, to cry with and to share life’s moments with. Women are not your enemy. Men are not your enemy. The media is not your enemy. They are all just tools used by the one true enemy of your soul who longs to keep you in isolation so you will be less likely to have a relationship with the One True God and to keep you from authentic friendships with ladies who can encourage you, pray with you and walk with you during times of struggle. Isn’t it time you turn off the TV and find some real friends you can do life with?

Dance Moms, Hoarders and Kate, Oh My!

Last night my 17 year-old son saw Dance Moms for the first time. I asked him his thoughts and he said “I feel like I need to report them to someone. But how do you report people who are on TV?” Between Dance Moms, Animal Hoarders and the finale of Kate Plus 8, we witnessed destructive parenting at its worst. And the disturbing reactions by the children, who witnessed the horrific and verbally abusive outbursts, is evidence that there will be long-lasting consequences. And the part that is most heartbreaking is that it’s all for the sake of selfish ambition, greed and pride, all of which are at a level that is hard to comprehend. We may never know the long-term impact that the adult’s behavior will have on their children. But what I do know is that many adult women have scars left behind by wounds, hurts and unspeakable acts that they experienced in childhood. Many times these unhealed scars are easily “reopened” and bleed into all areas of their lives. And in most instances the women seek healing in relationships, activities, food, positions that make them feel important or needed and in the worst cases, addictions. Unfortunately, these are only small bandaids for the gaping wounds that have been left. There is only one place to find true and lasting healing – in the arms of Jesus. If you are hurting and have scars that need healing once and for all, I encourage you to talk to someone about what that means. And if you have no one to ask, you can always ask me.